“There are the occasions that men—intellectual men, clever men, engaged men—insist on playing devil’s advocate, desirous of a debate on some aspect of feminist theory or reproductive rights or some other subject generally filed under the heading: Women’s Issues. These intellectual, clever, engaged men want to endlessly probe my argument for weaknesses, want to wrestle over details, want to argue just for fun—and they wonder, these intellectual, clever, engaged men, why my voice keeps raising and why my face is flushed and why, after an hour of fighting my corner, hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? ask the intellectual, clever, and engaged men, who have never considered that the content of the abstract exercise that’s so much fun for them is the stuff of my life.”—
It’s all too easy to forget that there’s a human being on the other end of the Internet. That human being has a name. That human being has friends and family; hopes, fears, and dreams. The person behind those words and that avatar is loved by people, and that person loves them in return.
Michael is handsome, witty, and can keep up with my banter. His personality reminds me SO much of the ‘love of my life’. He’s quiet, but when he does say something, it’s perfectly timed and unassuming, and makes me laugh like a fiend. I am very happy and very hopeful. Also? Job interview tomorrow! Cross your fingers for me, lovers!! =) I hope you are all doing as good as I am right now. <3
I just don’t. It’s one of my quirks. I am very old fashioned and view it as emasculating them and stealing their ‘hunter’ nature. Men need to chase and never completely catch the women to keep interested. Call it games, but honestly, who wants something easily attainable? I like my men to have a little mystery and not completely over-share.
That being said, Guy #3 (Curt) hasn’t called since Wednesday. I’ve written him off as uninterested and moving on. Disappointing, but I’ll be fine. :)
After I was a little butthurt about it, in my last blog I wrote how two men started talking to me.
Guy A (Michael) asked me out this Monday night! Meeting him in Temecula after he gets off work for a few drinks and conversation.
And on Friday, I’m going with my friend Kristy to meet her friend Matt in San Diego for the movies and hang out time.
Very nice to have things to look forward to. Things are looking up.
Just so happens that last night, two really incredible and intelligent men found my dating profile. And have both written me a couple times each. They are both polar opposites, but I find them SO intriguing for different reasons. And I’m excited.
Which makes me realize I shouldn’t be putting all my eggs in one basket. Especially if said basket is treating me as an object instead of a person.
Guys, if women are into you and you are into them, freaking CALL or MESSAGE them! They like attention. Promise.
I really don't like when I become one of 'those' women...
Had a really wonderful date last night with Guy #3 (Curt). He took me to a classy Italian restaurant and then to a dive bar.
We were having a blast talking, playing shuffleboard, and just connecting. He kissed me pretty far into the night, there were fireworks and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I normally don’t do p.d.a.’s, perhaps it was a mix of the booze and the hunk! haha
We were getting along famously…he was drinking a little and it was getting late, so I offered that he could stay the night instead of having to drive all the way home (about 45-1 hour), no sex, of course. Hot and heavy make-out session, and again in the morning. He left at 6:30 am for work, and I wrote on his wall then, thanking him for the wonderful date and posted a video we had discussed the night before. He responded when he got off work with, “For sure, thank you. I had a great time.”
So WHY am I being such a dumb girl and analyzing every stupid detail and wondering why he hasn’t called and thinking he doesn’t like me? Why can’t I take the advice I give to others??? I HATE being needy and feeling like this. I knew before we even went out that he wasn’t big on communicating online or on the phone, he was the face to face type. :P I need a hobby. Or I need to find another date to take my mind off him. I get so focused when I like someone. *sigh*
In other news, applied for a job, went tanning, and am going to see a comedian tomorrow! That should help. I’ll get dolled up and post a pic of me in my new corset. =)
I’ve been putting myself out there in the dating world and made another profile on Okcupid.
Guy #1. I’d been chatting with a guy named Mike on the instant messenger service…and we found out we only lived two blocks away from each other. We were both going to smoke, and he’s all “Let’s just smoke together. Come on, be adventurous.” My roommates were home, and he’s a small man (I could totally take him), so I said ok. I had no make up on, was in need of a shower, but he wasn’t one of those men…ya know, the type that make you completely nervous. He didn’t have many pictures of himself, the ones he did have were black and white. I get that, I have a bunch of angled pics to make myself look better, but I couldn’t really see him. He comes over and he’s really really sweet. He’s definitely a ‘good guy’. He cracked me up and we have a ton in common. Only thing wrong, I don’t find him attractive. I tried SO hard. But it just wasn’t there.
This is what I have written on my profile… ' I am looking for someone I can have a mental, emotional, and physical attraction with. Sounds easy enough, right? I always seem to end up getting two out of three.’
And again, it proves to be the case. I’m not shallow, but I have to have chemistry with someone. So he’s been messaging me and I don’t know how to tell him he isn’t my type without crushing him. :(
Guy #2. Intelligent, attractive, cool guy. It’s rare I find someone I can communicate with. This one is funny and smart, but a ‘lazy dater’. He says he’s been burned in the past and now is looking for friends to build a relationship with first. He wants to move slow and take his time. I completely understand that, but as a woman, it sounds like he doesn’t want to put in any work to ‘court’ a girl and make her feel special. He just wants something to fall in his lap. Good luck.
Guy #3. My favorite so far. His name is Curtis and I’m Very attracted to him. I really like his style. He’s a guy’s guy, really cool, and completely unique. I really want to find out what makes him tick. Only he works. ALL the time. Which is good, but I need more attention than just one or two messages a day. But he asked me out for dinner and drinks tomorrow night, so hopefully I can crack the surface a bit. It’s the second real date I’ve been on other than my ex in two years. I’m nervous.
There’s slim pickings on Okcupid…so it’s hard not to get overly excited when you find a good one. And I get SUPER excited early on, then, as I get to know someone and see them for all they are, good and bad, my passion tends to calm.
I just wish I could find someone to make the butterflies last.
I get asked all the time how I have so many followers on Twitter.
It’s not really all that many, compared to other people I follow, but I’m proud of it.
These are some tips and tricks that I’ve learned along the way for those who are trying to be funny or get on Favstar:
1) NEVER steal a tweet. If you aren’t feeling funny, RT someone who is.
Do NOT post some joke you got on an email, a bumper sticker, a joke you heard from a comedian somewhere or at the water cooler. If you get caught plagiarizing, you will be burned at the stake here and may never recover.
2) Delete ALL your @ replies within a few hours. If they are really your friend and care about what you have to say, you’ll be able to direct message them because they are following you.
@ replies make your stream look ugly, and more people will follow you if you just have clever/funny things you came up with on your page.
I’ve unfollowed a ton of people for @ replying too much. I don’t want to see their conversations with others. This is not Skype/Aim/Yahoo Messenger. I’m here to be entertained and entertain people. Instant messaging is for conversations.
DM each other or just create another account for @ replies.
That being said, I WILL leave up @ replies if I find them especially hilarious or important.
I LOVE all my followers and there is no way I could follow them all, but I try and follow people that make me laugh consistently and don’t fill up my Twit-stream with lots of meaningless junk/dribble. There are a very few real life friends thrown in, but mostly I follow hilarious tweeters.
I tend to not follow people if their following/follower ratio is lopsided,
ie Following: 568/Followers:203
It makes you look desperate or like you are trying to hard.
You are NOT showing up in their timeline. They aren’t reading anything you are saying. I give people 2 days to follow me back before I stop following them.
You can still star people that make you laugh on the Favstar Leaderboard if you want to get attention/new followers. They’ll see you more that way, too.
5) Don’t EVER hesitate to ask for help. Ton of Tweeters got a helping hand when they started out and will gladly pay it forward. I pimp people out all the time, trying to get them more followers or on the leaderboard. Make sure you deserve the helping hand, you have to work hard to be funny and make people laugh, and there will be ton of people willing to help you.
6) Flirt your freakin ass off. Everyone likes to feel good about themselves. Everyone wants to feel wanted. This is good for the real world, too. Just make sure you keep it light…there are some psychos/stalkers on here that you’ve gotta watch out for that might miscontrue your flirtation for an actual chance to get you.
7) Be honest. If you are married or have kids or are single, NOBODY cares! They will flirt with you and star your tweets regardless. Twitter is kinda like a bar full of awesome people. Just be real. The best tweets are the shit that happens in real life anyway.
8) Put your best foot forward. If you want to be incognito, that’s fine, but if you are going to put a pic up, make sure it’s your most attractive one. Crop it so you look sexy. Change it up to get people’s feedback. Everyone wants to follow sexy people.
9) Make Friends! Listen to what they are going through, be a sympathetic ear. I’ve made some of the coolest/life-enhancing friends here. By being a good one. Whenever anyone needs me, I’ll try and be there for them.
10) Follow the golden rule and don’t take it too seriously. There are certain subjects that come up…such as yesterday we had tweet thiefs//fake accounts being racist in someone else’s image//a chick that pretended like she was a dude to get a girl to like her//etc. There are REAL people behind these computers. But “It’s just Twitter’, and most everything blows over. If your morals and heart are in the right place, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Just pick your battles. People come here to escape drama, not be involved in it.
11) Follow Fridays on Fridays rarely work cuz EVERYONE is doing it. If you want to suggest someone that everyone should follow…do it any day but Friday.
12) DON’T DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT!! Almost everyone gets fed up with Twitter. The ones that delete their accounts ALWAYS regret it. Just don’t log in for a few days if you need a break. It’s not worth losing all that hard work you spent getting followers and being funny and it pisses people off and makes them not trust you when you re-open an account. Who wants to follow someone and give them stars if they are just going to throw it all away next time they get cranky?